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How I Defended Myself from “Incredible Hulk’s” Plunge

Danger loomed unexpectedly during my otherwise serene resort holiday. A drunken man got into the pool. Halfway through my laps, I inadvertently splash chlorine-filled water in his eyes and he heads towards me in a rage. The words noodle defense dance across my mind from yesterday’s exercise session, as I notice an inflatable bolster nearby. It has the bright yellow head of Sponge Bob.

Lunging sidewise I grab the Sponge Bob and hit the drunken Incredible Hulk. He is momentarily stunned but recovers. The battle moves a notch higher as Incredible Hulk reaches for a red-and-white lifesaver and starts hitting, but I parry his blows with my noodle-shaped weapon. People are beginning to notice the commotion. Unimpressed and displeased, the young owner of the pool toys jumps in with a real noodle in hand and hits us both rapidly non-stop until we let go of her toys. Suddenly, Incredible Hulk breaks into laughter at the comical scenario. This very fit 8-year-old daughter of the club’s sports director has definitely gotten solid strength and speed from noodle training.

Nearby, my son is excitedly relating the incident to a playmate that just arrived with swim fins in tow. I absently make a mental note to tell them later that swim fins were invented by Benjamin Franklin, at age 11. Meanwhile, the heroine of the day gets a well deserved round of applause as she gets off the pool with her precious pool toys.

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